…the most lovely day of the year…Merry Xmas 2011 and wish my friends all the best…Luck would come to you all…<3

I’m writing this note at my office…Sitting here and look through the window. I find it so small to me now. I need something new and strange. And I know I will never be afraid, I really want to risk my life for it…and once again I know I can do my best and overcome everything; just because I have always got what I want, what I really want. When I was a little girl, I was brought up in the love of my family. They gave me what I like. But I would have never known that it was beyond my imagination if I hadn’t listened to it. But I will keep it in my mind and just for myself. My parent never told me what I had to do. They allowed me to do anything and never intervened in my study. But they didn’t know that their attitude proved that they didn’t care about me, nothing at all. I was really afraid, really…A morning of December 2011, this is a big year to me. I have graduated, the happiest moments in my life have gone. And this moment will be the past of tomorrow. I don’t know what will happen to me in the future, I don’t know how long it will take me to get the meaning of my life, I don’t know how many people will come to me and go away. On the last days of the year, people seem not to do anything but just enjoy and relax. Christmas is all around me. But this year, it’s not like that…

That sky, that building and those people are still there, they don’t change…I feel so bored…I mean everything is so boring to me now…

The sun is shining over there, but the weather is quite cold…

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift of life….

Give your love away…The more you give, the more you will get back…that’s the lesson of the life…and we will have to learn it in our whole life…

We would never know what will happen to me tomorrow, but just regret what we did in the past…

Someone you hate maybe become your close friend someday, your friend’s lover maybe become your partner…We know nothing…

I want to sit here and look at rain through the window…Rain would relieve my wounds…It would sweep the anxieties in me…

I’m … something, someone, and some…

Sometimes you wish you disappeared from this earth, sometimes you dont catch up with this world and you fell bored with it and you want to be alone…and sometimes and sometimes and another sometimes you want to be someone else…That’s when you realize you’re the best when you’re everything you’re…

Sometimes you feel sick of your relationships…sometimes you dont know on whom you can rely…and sometimes you find that someone you love no longer needs you and you fell depressed…

When you go far way you realize how much you miss the familiar landscape at you home, even if it’s just a gentle one…

Imagine that you’re on a sandy beach, a infinite beach. Going for miles along that beach and take a rest when getting tired…

This’s the way I start to write something and this time is you…Whenever I’m down, I will write something regardless of whether it relates to my emotion or not…but it help me release my emotion and overcome stress, and obviously, I feel better…

But I know it is not the case for this time for it’s you…

Whenever I recall my past, ur always in my mind. When I look back on the past, I know ur there. When I think about my mistakes and I realize ur a the big one…and if someone ask me is there anything you’ve done you regret…then I know It’s only you, exactly it’s our relationship what i feel full of remorse…because I know it’s all my fault…

I always consider you my best friend, my close friend ever. For many times I want to repair my friendship. It, nevertheless, impossible and I know for sure…Our friendship was so stable that I never though it could  be broken. And when it become fragile, I wanted to cement it again but it seems to late…cuz it’s a deep crack and I dont wanna pretend anymore that it could disappear oneday. And the answer is of course, never can it disappear…

The more I regret our relationship, the worse I feel about myself…I’m so selfish, I’m not good at all. I dont care about the others’ thought, but just mine…I require a lot of you all, but I cant do anything for my friends…I’m fucking bad…

There is a mess in my mind now, and how to “enjoy” it. I dont know, dont know, dont know….

When I needed u, you were there. When I called you, you were there. When I wanted u come to me, I would do that…My best friend. Sometimes my mum asked about you, I pretended not to hear her…

I wish you knew about this but I cant…

I’m thinking that if it hadn’t happened, we would have a ever great friendship…I would have taken pride in it….It makes me smile, happy…

Another Christmas is coming…and I… 

Life is a long journey that you have to go on your own and make your full effort to find your destination, to find your way home. And in this journey, there is only right way lead you to where you’re supposed to be, where you belong to…But to find this way, you will have to face with the worst things in your life that could kill you, drag you to the hell but that can make you stronger than ever…There’ll be the toughest times in your life that you think you cant go through. You’ll face with  many difficult choices, but only one is the best. Sometimes, you will fall, you will be hurt, you will lose yourself. However, no one is beside you, no one help you to return…Just only you in this journey…Will you scared??? You’ll feel lonely, this feeling could destroy you gradually…How long could you stand it??? You wont want to be wounded, but you will be…On your own way, you’ll never know what will happen to you, they come to you by chance, they could be good for you, but they could be also the hateful things. When unexpected things come to you, you have no choice but have to learn how to luv them…You must accept them, cuz’ this is only way for you to overcome yourself and to get your home soon…To find your way home, you have to be selfish a little. This will result in losing some your precious things in your life…And you will only realize this when you stand at the last stop in your life…What will you have when you reach home? It’s when the agedness comes to you and the thing you have is just a head of white hair. And when looking back on the past, you’ll realize you have lost a true love, you have lost someone you really love, or someone who loves you more than you love yourself, or a close friend who is always beside you when you go down, or smt you will never have again…

I feel like that someone is pissin’ me off….they messin’ me up…It’s really bad when I dont know if it is wrong or right???. When you luv someone, u’ll need the honesty from your partner. It’s when you easily get lost and you’ll need someone to embrace u, hold you in their arms…and say to u that” everything would be fine, I’m here and always beside u”…

Life is just black and white but luv, it has brought pink into life, makes life become more meaningful…and worthier living…Luv gives you strength to face with and overcome the difficulty in your life…Luv is what you can be easily addicted…

But more than that, I think the honesty is more important than that, I mean “than luv”…We can’t luv when we dont believe in each other…If you luv in doubt, it would hurt you…And your life would turn into grey. It’s even worse than life of the beginning (I mean “a life without luv”). Cuz’ u dont know what is black, what is white…You dont know which is wrong and which is right…This feeling will destroy you gradually…U’re surrounded by darkness and no exit…

Don’t worry cuz’ family and friends are what you can count on…Family gives you the security, protect you…even if family is not a place you can confide, you can share your secrets…But it’s the place you can comeback at anytime when you’re tired. Friends, they know your thinking, your mind…They could understand you better than you know yourself…Friends know when you get into trouble that sometimes family couldnt know or couldnt get…Family and friends will bring pink into your life, keep u tall…give you the hopes, belief and luv…

Family + friends = forever:x:x:x

P/S: I dont know why I’m writing this note=))). It seems to be stupid, rite? xD. But I’ve written it, so I cant delete it:D

…I wrote it 4 my friends who are lost their way and maybe 4 myself…